January 23rd, 2009 When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive… ..so, I took her to a gas station…..
and that’s how the fight started.
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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her [...]
December 23rd, 2008 Physical Fitness
THIS HEADQUARTERS REQUIRES NO PHYSICAL FITNESS PROGRAM.
Everyone here gets enough exercise:
1. Jumping to conclusions;
2. Flying off the handle;
3. Carrying things too far;
4. Dodging responsibilities; and
5. Pushing their luck.
Fighter Pilots
Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
A: He’ll tell you.
Q: What’s the difference between God and fighter pilots
A: God [...]
October 23rd, 2008 The 1st Affair:
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on [...]
September 23rd, 2008 If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman’s credibility. ..
Q: “Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?”
A: “No sir. But I subsequently [...]
July 23rd, 2008 A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders two glasses of whiskey. He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses.
The girl behind the bar is surprised and asks, :Can your dog perform other tricks?”.
“But of course”, the man answers, “he can even satisfy a woman.” Anxious to [...]